The Partial Childhood!
A question that pops up in my mind when I failed, when I had to choose one exactly one
the choice I had was to be a child or to be an adult, the definition differs for everybody at the different extent which is caused due to fluctuations of one’s environment. The version of mine wanted to secure a partial childhood in me, but it’s not an option. Once you reach the age and you care to reason with you (I am used to it). You start getting confused because you wanted to hold everything which is not an option. I reason and it doesn’t help because when you emotionally attached to reason you find everything invaluable and you can’t just leave it.
The problem is even if we have the option of terminating the bad experiences from memories and we get an additional offer which is a compulsion that we will lose good memories as well, most people tend to reject this kind of offer. The reason of rejection is, We think we can win the battle against bad experience and good memories are motivational so don’t want to lose that either, if we lose all of them we will be blank, It work great for some people but for people who have the delusion of deep understanding they fail.
The persona of each individual lies on what he hold from the past, generally, it’s a reflection of how deep one thinks that one actually think deep. People with secretive personality tend to wait for time to get comfortable then they blast, then they stop and then again. It’s not polarity rather it’s an uncontrollable stimulus of overthinking. They actually have a swing of memories from past experience. They don’t release but people who look stable in group I mean (people who do just meaningful talk in the group or crack sensible and calculative or copied (only if they are sure about of level of the joke) in a group).they usually suffer from such kind of problem, If they are open they are good very good but along with that bad rage, anger issue (cause that affects people and visible when they open). These are all consequence, I have practised no of persona in my own self just to check which suits me, I failed miserably, and maybe I am not sure about my real one, The phase of partial childhood which may end because I have to get stable, and find one personality for ages to go, and I don’t want to be miserable although, I love being miserable.